Re-visiting Still Life with Woodpecker because the blackberries, trout teeth rain, UW cheerleaders, etc. have a bit more context here, but I'm realizing as I'm reading on buses or with my legs over the back of couches that the novelty of 'here' is quickly wearing off, which is a relief, yes, but it is also terrifying because of the mad binges and crashes, the staring out of windows, the unhealthy elation turned moping, the oft' playing of 'California Love,' the honest excitement of getting out of bed to a thunder/sleet/cinder block storm, the vodka sodas, the fear of driving, the insatiable longing and curiosity of people both known and new - how will justify any of it if not by my soon-to-be spurious 'transitional period?'

Yum.

I was hit by a car today whilst crossing the street downtown. When I say "hit" I mean the car was turning right and sort of pushed into me at around 5mph so my upper body bent over the hood at a perfect 90 degree angle. Still, it was the first time I've ever gone mano a mano with a moving vehicle. When I got home and checked myself in the mirror I was hoping to discover a couple of bruises or maybe a blood blister, anything that would allow me to exaggerate the story. Instead I found two quarter-sized red marks below my collarbone and on my hip. I was struck by an automobile and walked away with two hickies.



And yes, ma petite abeille, those are my wind pants.

Texts I Received During Tonight's
World Series Game 6

"Apparently you can also buy umps. Fuck New York. Baseball needs a salary cap."

"Joba Chambers is coming in. I bet he's pumped."

"Yanks make me want punt orphans."

"Petite has the most World Series victories of all time?"

"I haven't hated New York this much since September 10th, 2001."

"I think my graduating class has more highschool diplomas than a Phillies tailgate."

"I'm offended by Joe Buck's voice."

"Some dumb Yankees fan bought a jersey with I LIV 4 THIS inscribed on the back."

"Spike Lee. Your thoughts?"

"Someone in that stadium is seeing the likeness of Jesus Christ on the back of Rivera's jersey."

"2 more outs and sports writers everywhere cum in unison."

"Well, congrats. The team that spent almost 100 million dollars more than any other team just won the World Series."

"Underwhelmed."

Vince, I'm sorry. I really am sorry. I know we talked in passing about how funny a Mad Men radio show would be, and I know when you sent me your little test sessions you didn't intend for anyone else to hear them, but your Pete Campbell is so astoundingly good that I had to share it. It's so good, in fact, that I am able to forgive the lost old man from a Looney Tunes episode you claim is supposed to be Cooper.

If you are familiar with the character, prepare to have your mind blown.